I was parched.
He was offering.
I was hungry. I was coming from a state of poverty.
He seemed generous. And helpful.
It seemed heady.
Maybe i was dreaming.
But it did seem like one.
He said he loved me.
Can anyone really love me, i wondered.
But he was persistent.
He insisted he loved me.
I believed him.
Maybe i could be loved after all.
I gushed. He fawned.
I loved it. I loved him.
But wait, isn’t this too good to be true?
My knight in shining armour!
He was here , trying to rescue me,the damsel in distress.
Seemed very textbook.
My heart took the plunge.
But had a sinking feeling somewhere inside.
It was brand new.
My body. My emotions. My heart.
But i couldn’t comprehend
Can love be really unconditional?
The universe detected my insecurities.
And soon the unravelling began.
Of my love.
He was not mine. He was of others too.
But he loved me he said.
I couldn’t believe him. Again.
My heart ached. The bruises seemed new again. And gaping.
I had to let him go.
But he held me. Said he cant. I am too precious.
Was i really?
One lie lead to another.
All he did was covering up.
As i lay naked next to him, i felt exposed and ashamed.
And even when his name was not his, i had no one to call to ; in love and in anger.
My world crumbled.
But it was still love.
I was , my heart was, true in his love of lies.
~ JUST A GAY BOY.