Tag: #blog

SPARKS LIKE STARS

This book is about Afghanistan, it’s people and their truths. It’s never easy to talk about a country decimated by war and various vested interests which have given rise to the Taliban. So when Afghan American author and paediatrician, Nadia Hashimi, writes, you sit up and take notice. She has authored several books on Afghans; but in this recent release, she speaks about the trying and traumatic life of a person escaping death and war. The first half of the book, shows the protagonist Sitara, as a ten year old surviving the military coup against the Afghan government that happened in 1978 Kabul. She knows her family is dead and with the help of a palace guard Shair, she lands up with Antonia, an American embassy worker, who helps her escape from Kabul to the United States. The story then fast forwards to 2008 in the second half, where Sitara has a new name and is a practising onco-surgeon in NYC. However, after so many years, when a chance encounter happens with Shair who is now her patient, it brings back the pent up rage, hidden grief and all the unspeakable traumas of the past. She now has to navigate her present by acknowledging her desire to reclaim her family and heritage, which leads her back to Kabul.

The author, through Sitara, paints a moving picture about survivors guilt. The emotional turmoil of it can be seen in every aspect of her life. The book depicts the vibrant culture of the 1970s Afghanistan which is heartwarming. But it’s gut wrenching to think of the present day grim situation. The world has watched in silence as a beautiful country stands ruined, and it’s convivial people wronged.

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 😞

Misfits: A Personal Manifesto

When Michaela Coel, Emmy and Bafta winning creator/actress, also one of my most favourites; writes a book, you know it’s going to be real and cerebral. This book was inspired from Coel’s prestigious 2018 MacTaggart Lecture, a high-profile address given yearly by a keynote speaker at the Edinburgh Television Festival. Through the book, Michaela lays bare her deepest truths, fears, insecurities and idiosyncrasies.

From growing up in a poor family and as a black woman, in East London; to navigating racial slurs at drama school and not being taken seriously enough in the television industry despite two hit shows, Chewing Gum (Netflix) and I May Destroy You (BBC/HBO); Michaela describes her unconventional journey in a very poignant and purposeful narrative. She also talks about her sexual assault, which later prompted her to make the ingenious and hard hitting show, I May Destroy You, centring it on the issues of thefts of consent and rape.

Michaela refers to herself as a misfit and champions for all the misfits like her in the book. In this sensational agenda setting debut, she makes a compelling case for radical honesty and greater transparency. She believes that we as a world, need to be inclusive and respectful of every other human. She stresses on the fact that we need to constantly reflect on our thoughts, actions and words; for the betterment of humanity at large.

“ I’ve decided to embrace as many perspectives as I can, and be brave enough to update my beliefs, and discover I’m not always right. What a brilliant thing, to discover we’ve been wrong about some things, what a brilliant thing it is to grow”.

A brilliant and humbling read indeed!

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 🙌

A Slow Fire Burning

Paula Hawkins, author of The Girl on the Train and Into the Water, is back with another edgy and disturbing murder mystery-cum-psychological thriller. A young man, Daniel, gets brutally murdered in a London houseboat and now there are three suspects. Laura, his one night stand, who was last seen with him; Carla, his aunt; and Miriam, his nosy neighbour living on an adjacent houseboat. As the story unravels, so does the dark and damaged lives of the three women, intersecting and intertwining, ultimately leading to a grim climax.

The author is proficient at putting unlikeable and troubled women as her protagonists. In this book too, Laura who suffers from disinhibition, comes across as extremely unhinged. She is a victim of various childhood traumas due to which she has trouble managing her anger, emotions and behaviour. Through the various characters and plot lines, the book highlights the repercussions of PTSD, grief, loneliness and revenge.

Despite it being a page turner, the book still left me a tad underwhelmed. Maybe it’s because of the invariable comparison to the brilliancy of the author’s previous books. Nonetheless, Hawkins does create an atmospheric and creepy narrative. Do read!

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 👀

A Passage North

Sri Lankan author, Anuk Arudpragasam’s second book, and also shortlisted for Booker Prize 2021, is striking but deliberately difficult. The book is a meandering tale of a Sri Lankan Tamil man, Krishan, living in Colombo, who is now faced with the news of his grandmother Appamma’s caretaker, Rani’s death in the far flung village of Kilinochchi, in the Northern Province of Sri Lanka. As Krishan leaves on this train journey to the North, a region devastated by the civil war, he starts ruminating on his life’s choices and outcomes; philosophically analysing them, in the context of the inevitable truths of grief, loss, trauma and death.

As the author builds Krishan’s narrative, he also introduces us to the relationships he shares with all the women in his life including mother, grandmother, Rani and his former girlfriend Anjum. Anjum is an Indian girl, he meets while in Delhi. Though they share a “friend with benefits” relationship, more so from Anjum’s perspective; Krishan feels drawn to her romantically. Since separated and not in touch, Krishan keeps reminiscing about her; he remains in denial about the unrequited love and his inability to come to a closure.

Through the story of Rani, the Tamil woman, who loses both her sons to the war and is now battling severe clinical depression, the author brings to fore the turbulent times of the country when the Tigers and the military were engaged in a destructive duel. The book also has detailed multi-page recountings of Tamil poems, Buddha, and television documentaries.

Through the book, very little happens. While the author is adept at illustrating our most private and everyday emotions and thoughts lucidly; at the same time, it also feels like rambling. The dialogue-less prose, is full of long, laborious and word-y sentences. The character of Krishan comes across as inconsequential, indecisive and tedious.

To summarise, the book feels more like an indulgent experience, than immersive.

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 😶

Jamie’s Story

Jamie’s story is about Jamie Taylor. She is a lesbian woman, a nightclub owner, living in Cardiff. The book traces her story from adolescence to late twenties. Growing up in an extremely dysfunctional family, to an abusive and homophobic father; Jamie is forever looking to escape. Her home is never the safe place because it’s filled with fear and hate. Her father, an out of work veteran, is an alcoholic, wife beater and a bully. Even in her school, Jamie becomes a victim of bullying and homophobia. During these trying times, she develops a romantic relationship with another girl, Heather. However, misunderstandings, deceit and a series of unfortunate events make them go their separate ways.

Now when Jamie is an adult, her life is still chaos. It comprises of hookups, late nights, binge drinking. She remains emotionally scattered and unavailable to her own self. She intentionally tries to keep romance and love at bay. But a chance encounter with Heather, after so many years, reignites the forgotten passion. This leads her to question the self sabotaging behaviour and makes her receptive and accepting of new, beautiful and fulfilling possibilities.

The book is a brilliant take on the life of a queer, troubled woman who not just manages to survive but thrive. The narrative is fast paced; a page turner in fact! The climax has elements of mystery and suspense to it. The book addresses the realities of domestic violence and bullying in gory details; which can be triggering for some. However, the delicate and nuanced portrayal of the complicated relationships of Jamie with Heather and Sarah, is queer affirming and sensitive.

Despite the grim beginning, the end is uplifting and inspiring. We Lgbtqia+ people need such stories that celebrate our authenticity, spirit, resilience and humanity. We need stories where the end is filled with happiness.

Thank you Kim Harry for choosing me to read your book. Astounding debut!

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

At night all blood is black

This 2021 International Booker Prize winner, is a sordid telling about a Senegalese soldier during the First World War. Alfa Ndiaye, is a strong and handsome man, recruited by the French against the German troops. Mademba Diop, with whom Alfa shares a brotherhood with, gets brutally killed and disemboweled during one of the attacks. Alfa sees him pleading for death and writhing in agony during his last moments and feels helpless and responsible about not providing him death sooner. This event destabilises Alfa which makes him seek gruesome revenge on the Germans. Every night he kills one of them and brings their severed hand as a medallion. Initially, his own troops and the French captain laud him for his bravery. But as his grotesque killing continues, the same people, now deem his bravery as savagery; call him dëmm, the devourer of souls and avoid him. All of this, makes Alfa have mental breakdowns and hence is ordered by the captain to be sent to an asylum. Slowly Alfa starts losing his memory, gets delusional and forgets his own identity.

The author, in the second half, throws light on the friendship and brotherhood of Alfa and Mademba. The relationship of Alfa with this mother, Penndo Ba, who leaves him at the age of nine, remains constrained with an unsaid love and resentment. The book describes the culture and traditions of Fula people of Senegal. The words and the narration get deliberately repetitive, probably to keep it authentic to Alfa Ndiaye’s thoughts.

Through the story, Alfa emerges as this brute force who only knows, blood, death and violence as the language of love, care and loyalty. In his delusional state, when he commits a rape; he believes it to be his act of making love. Narrated by Alfa himself, the story gets intentionally disturbing, making you squirm.

The book is translated from French by Anna Moschovakis, who shares the Booker Prize with the author David Diop. The story is a slice of the unspoken brutality of the First World War. As also, it’s an unflinching account of the life and mind of a soldier, facing the trauma of a war.

Haunting.

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 🥴

The Maidens

Absolute page turner! This next psychological whodunnit thriller from Alex Michaelides (his previous was the brilliant, The Silent Patient) is gripping and riveting to say the least. The story is set in the prestigious Cambridge university. Mariana, a group therapist, in London, is struggling to cope with the sudden demise of her husband. Whilst she’s going about balancing her emotional state and conducting her group therapy sessions, she gets a frantic call from Zoe, her niece, who’s studying at Cambridge, about the mysterious and gruesome murder of her roommate. Mariana, immediately, sets off for Cambridge, to comfort her niece. During her visit, Mariana gets sucked into the sinister developments going on in the university. She gets especially intrigued about a secret society of female students called “The Maidens” led by a charismatic Greek tragedy professor Edward Fosca. When another one of “The Maidens” gets brutally murdered, Mariana gets convinced that it’s Fosca who is the murderer and she takes it upon herself to prove it so.

While keeping the story taut and chilling, the author throws some insight into Mariana’s psychology. Raised by a father who abandoned her emotionally and left her yearning for his love and attention, Mariana struggles to come to terms with her own issues. This juxtaposed with her trying to be an emotional anchor for Zoe, makes her feel depleted of her bearings. The way the author constructs this psychological arc of Mariana, intertwining it with the current sinister scenario and various characters and situations from Greek mythology, makes the book remarkable and exceptional.

The fast-paced narrative leads to a shocking climax, that’s bound to make you dizzy.

I finished this book in three days. It’s simply unputdownable!

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 😶‍🌫️

Who is Maud Dixon?

Taut, racy and unpredictable. This book is a fast paced thriller that’s changes plots just when you had thought you had figured it all. The innumerable twists and turns leave you breathless as the dastardly cunning characters try to edge each other out. The story’s principle protagonist, Florence Darrow, is this mediocre girl working in the publishing industry, forever dreaming of making it big as an acclaimed author and never being able to do so. Her aspirations don’t match her actions. This makes her dissatisfied and petulant. At the same time, the world has been taken over by this novelist Maud Dixon and their debut novel, who goes by the pseudonym and nobody actually knows who Maud Dixon is!

Do Florence and Maud ever meet; well that’s for you to find out.

The first half of the book is set in New York and moves at a languid pace. Though languorous, it builds an uneasy atmospheric tonality. This ominous narrative reaches it’s zenith once the story shifts to Morocco. As the story delves into a whirlwind of baleful events, the characters get so volatile and mercurial, making your assumptions naïveté at every wicked hairpin turn.

It’s hard to believe that this a debut book from the author Alexandra Andrews. The flair and expertise in Alexandra’s writing can be ascertained from her linguistic skills. The Moroccan cities of Semat and Marrakech have been described so eloquently. In fact, Semat, where the whole unravelling takes place, becomes a character integral to the plot line.

This sharp and enormously entertaining book is riveting and can leave you dizzy by the end of it.

Do read.

( PS. Is Semat a fictional city or does it really exist? )

~ JUST A GAY GUY. 🥶

The Vanishing Half by Brit Bennett

This is a historical fiction on the American history of passing. The term ‘passing’ has been used primarily in the United States to describe a person of color or of multiracial ancestry who assimilated into the white majority to escape the legal and social conventions of racial segregation and discrimination ( source – Wikipedia). The story describes the lives of the light-skinned African American Vignes twins Stella and Desiree from the 1950s to the 1990s, wherein one twin lives life as a black woman in a small nondescript town of Mallard with her mother while the other passes as white and chooses to live an uppity life built on lies and deceit. The non linear narrative also weaves in the stories of their daughters, Jude and Kennedy, who live lives as a black and white woman respectively until their chance encounter, whereupon their lives, racial identities, beliefs collide and consume their existence. Jude and Desiree’s longing to unite the family is a juxtaposition to the denial and unwillingness of Stella and Kennedy. As their worlds clash and coincide, the women must now decide and redefine their racial histories within their current existence.

The brilliance of this book is indescribable. Brit Bennett holds a master class with this poignant and subtle rendition on race, gender, economic inequality and privilege. I particularly loved the character of Reese, a trans man going through gender affirming surgery. The relationship between Reese and Jude is tender and intimate as they discover love, respect and kindness for each other.

The book which has won Goodreads choice award and long listed for National book award is a compassionate telling of onerous issues. The writing has a subtext of poetic melancholy. The words of Brit Bennett are so powerful, they can echo your hidden fears and prejudices and at times subsume differences.

“Gratitude only emphasized the depth of your lack, so she tried to hide it.”

“You could drown in two inches of water. Maybe grief was the same.”

Ingenious!

~ JUST A GAY BOY. 🥲